The Mighty King Biden Searches High and Low for Those Who Dare Oppose His Glorious Reign

In the grand tradition of the most despotic tyrants throughout history, King Biden has asserted his absolute authority over the land. On that fateful day of remembrance, January 6th, 2021, he unleashed his loyal Sheriff of Nottingham, Merrick Garland, to execute a dastardly plot. The aim? To ensnare and ensnare all who would dare challenge the omnipotent ruler’s iron-fisted grip on power.

Garland and his nefarious cohorts hatched an insidious scheme, a “setup” of epic proportions. With cunning and deceit, they laid their trap, waiting to spring and capture any poor soul foolish enough to question King Biden’s divine right to rule. It was a day that will live in infamy, a dark stain on the annals of time.

From the highest mountain peaks to the lowest valley depths, the King’s men combed every inch of his vast kingdom. They searched high and low, rooting out the disloyal and the disobedient. No stone was left unturned, no blade of grass unprobed. For the King would tolerate no dissent, no whiff of rebellion against his despotic reign.

All who refused to bow and scrape before their mighty monarch were rounded up like sheep to the slaughter. Hauled before the King’s courts, they faced the full fury of Biden’s wrath. The Sheriff and his lackeys pronounced sentence, their voices dripping with malice. The accused were guilty, guilty of the unforgivable crime of thoughtcrime against the Glorious Leader.

And so they were punished, their fates sealed by the King’s unimpeachable decree. Chains were clapped upon their wrists, shackles on their ankles. They were dragged off to the deepest, darkest dungeons, there to rot until the end of their days. A fitting fate for those who would usurp the divine right of kings.

Thus was order restored, the Kingdom of Biden made whole once more. The people cowered in their holes, daring not to breathe a word against their ruler. For they knew the consequences of defiance. King Biden was the law, and his word was absolute.

On that day and for all days, let it be remembered: Thou shalt not question the Mighty Biden, lest thou suffer his terrible vengeance. Let his name be praised, now and forevermore. The end.